All relationships go through difficult times. From minor disagreements about chores to bigger arguments about money or family, conflict is a normal part of being with another person. However, there are times when relationship problems go beyond a temporary rough patch and require professional help. Knowing when to seek therapy can make the difference between a relationship that struggles and one that heals and grows.
Here are some of the signs that it might be time to seek therapy for your relationship.
Is communication a problem?
One of the most common reasons people seek therapy is a breakdown in communication. This isn’t just about arguing; it’s about not being able to have a constructive conversation without it escalating into a fight. You might feel like you’re talking at each other, not to each other. Communication has broken down if you:
- Have the same arguments over and over again without reaching a resolution.
- Stop talking about important things to avoid conflict.
- Use harsh or hurtful words during disagreements.
- Feel misunderstood or unheard by your partner.
A therapist can act as a neutral third party, helping you to listen to each other and learn new ways to express yourselves.
Dealing with a difficult event
Some events are so difficult that they can put a huge strain on a relationship. While you can try to work through them on your own, a therapist can provide the support and framework needed to address these issues in a healthy way.
Events that might require professional help include:
- Infidelity or a breach of trust: Rebuilding trust after a betrayal is a long and difficult process.
- Major life changes: This could be a new baby, a job loss, or a significant illness. These changes can alter the dynamic of a relationship.
- A major loss: The death of a loved one can cause grief that impacts a relationship in unexpected ways.
A feeling of disconnection
You might not be fighting all the time, but if you feel like you are living separate lives, it could be a sign that you have lost your connection. You may feel like flatmates rather than partners. A sense of disconnect can show up as:
- A lack of emotional or physical intimacy.
- Spending all your time together in silence, without meaningful conversation.
- Feeling lonely, even when you are with your partner.
- A feeling of resentment that has built up over time.
A therapist can help you find your way back to each other and rediscover the emotional closeness you once shared.
When your relationship is affecting your health
Relationship problems can have a serious effect on your mental and physical health. The stress of constant conflict or unhappiness can lead to anxiety, depression, insomnia, and other health issues. If you notice a link between the state of your relationship and your personal well-being, it’s a clear signal that something needs to change.
Handling relationship problems with professional help.
If you recognise any of these signs, it’s important to remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, not failure. Paul Barrett is an experienced and clinically accredited counsellor and psychotherapist who specialises in a range of relationship issues. As a UKCP registered therapist, he provides a safe and non-judgmental space to help you and your partner work through your difficulties and find a way forward.
Book an initial consultation with Paul to take the first step towards a healthier, happier relationship.